Kris Mares

Just a woman trying to love Jesus and others a little bit more…

Right and Wrong and Nothing September 29, 2015

Filed under: Climber,Motherhood — Kris @ 6:15 am
Tags: , ,

There are times in the motherhood journey when you just shake your head, knowing that you’ve done right and wrong and nothing all at the same time. Yesterday was one of those days. It was in the morning. Climber and I were trying to get ready to head out to run some errands and a battle of the wills began.

Now before you ask, yes, I’ve read Dr. Dobson’s Strong-Willed Child (and perhaps I should read the updated version). And yes, I know that doing battle with a 4-year-old is not ideal. But it happens. So there we were, waging war against an unseen foe and each of us was going to win.

How do I know? Climber comes by it honest. I was a strong-willed-child myself once. I’m still pretty strong-willed. There is value in that. There is tenacity in that. There is determination in that. There is achievement in that. And there is great disaster in it as well. So there we were, two strong-willed children together, doing battle and neither of us was backing down.

As I’m pulling the old “because I’m the parent and you are the child and I win” argument, Climber’s attorney-in-training comes out with this gem:

But you sang a song in church about listening to your kids, so you need to listen to me!

I told you he is going to be a lawyer one day! Or a hostage negotiator. Not sure which. Anyhoo… My strong-willed-self immediately responded with “I remember singing no such song!” I’m the pastor. I picked out the hymns. I announced the hymns. I should remember right?

And then I remembered…

We sang the hymn “Lord, listen to your children praying.”

In that moment, I shook my head, knowing that I’ve done right and wrong and nothing all at the same time. I’ve done right in that Climber was in church and listening. He knows how to apply some of what he’s learning about God’s love for us and others in the real world (even if it’s a little off). I know that Racer and I have something to do with that. I’ve done wrong in that I have probably modeled that strong-willed argumentative personality too much. I’ve worked on it and need to keep working on it. And yet, even as I’ve done right and wrong, in many ways, I’ve done nothing at all.

Climber is who he is. As a mother, I have great influence over my children’s personality. Yet, they are who they are. God is designing them despite of my actions. And they have great care-takers that have influence. And great teachers. And great faith communities. Sometimes, as a mother, I do nothing and my children still turn out great.

So mommas, don’t worry. You are doing a lot of things right. And sometimes you just have to shake your head, knowing that you’ve done right and wrong and nothing all at the same time.

And your kids will be okay.


The Baby August 16, 2011

Filed under: Climber,Motherhood — Kris @ 9:49 pm

It’s been awhile since I’ve talked about the baby. And no, I don’t really have a cute nickname for him. Racer and I have thought of several, but haven’t decided on one quite yet. So until then, the baby it is.

He’s nine months old now, well almost. He’s about 25 lbs. I’m not sure what I’ve been feeding him to create such a healthy baby boy! We are still breastfeeding, so I know that is part of it. He wants to eat what is on our plate and loves fruit!

He’s at the stage too, where he wants to be moving like his bigger siblings. Crawling is a race and he loves to go up the stairs and play in Girlie’s room. His other favorite play spot? The dogs’ water dish. He likes to snack on their food too.

The baby’s still waking up 2 times a night to nurse. He just comes into bed with me and we snuggle for a while, then he goes back to bed. He’s quite a quick nurser now because he wants to be going and doing, not being still with me. He likes to sleep in his own bed or car seat and fights sleep anywhere else. He’s a happy baby and people love to interact with him.

I’ll admit, I’m a little sad the he’s my last baby. After four c-sections, I know it was the right decision to have my tubes tied. The risks of having a 5th c-section would’ve been much higher and while I healed very well after the first three, I was much slower to heal this time around. My mid-section is shot from the surgeries and I need to be around to care for my family. Having a tubal was the right thing to do. It’s still hard though. I loved being pregnant. I love the baby snuggles. I love the baby smiles. I’m trying to enjoy this last baby of mine.

I look forward to watching the baby and Gorilla grow up together. I think they are going to have great fun and trouble together. Girlie mothers him and Blue and Professor are looking forward to when he gets a little older. It’s hard to think about what the baby is going to be like when he is older. When he is Blue’s age, she’ll be the same age Racer is now.

Wow, that just hit me a little hard.


My babies just won’t stay babies forever will they. I wish I could keep them around forever, but then again, when they’re my age, they better not be living at home mooching off me… But I digress.

Back to the baby – he’s good. He has 8 teeth, 1 black eye, 0 baby books and a houseful of people who love him.

What more could a baby ask for?


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