I am Judas

Today is an odd day to celebrate.  Maundy Thursday is the day during Holy Week that we remember that Jesus was betrayed by Judas – sold for 30 silver coins.  Jesus celebrated the traditional Passover meal with his disciples then, as was a pattern with Him, went off alone to pray…

Jesus knew what was coming.  He knew he would die.  In a moment that I have had many times, Jesus asked God to take the hardship away.  I’ve done that too – “God, please stop this and make it better!” – but Jesus went further.  He asked for not his own will, but for the will of God to be done.  He was arrested, tried, brutally beaten, forced to walk to his place of death carrying the instrument of death.  Then, bloody and naked, he hung on a cross as the crowd watched him die.  All because Judas betrayed him.  Judas sold him out.  Judas looked after his own interests before the interests of others.

I am Judas.

I betray Jesus each time I fail to follow His ways – fail to love, fail to show grace, fail to believe.  I betray Jesus each time I am loyal to myself and indulge in my anger and pride.  I sell Him out for gossip and ice cream and my silly reality tv shows; I spend my money and my time on earthly “pleasures” instead of heavely pursuits.  I want things how I think they should go instead of how it is in God’s will.

So tonight as I go to bed, I remember that I too kiss Jesus’ cheek.  I too, have sold my Savior.  I am the reason he suffered an incredibly gruesome and horrible death.  He died so that I may live.  He loves me that much…  Pretty unbelievable isn’t it?

He loves you that much too.