Sharing Motherhood

Sharing is hard. We teach kids from an early age to share, but it’s hard work. Even as we grow and mature, we have a hard time sharing our resources. We do it, but we really have a hard time sharing those things that are most special with us. Think about it. What is your most valuable possession? Would you loan it to someone else? Maybe that’s an easy yes for you; if so, you have matured beyond me. My guess is that you would say that it depends on who you’re loaning it to.

Try sharing your children.

I don’t just mean with neighbors or teachers or friends. You know, the village you choose to collaborate with in the rearing of your children.

I mean parenting. Share the title mom with someone who you didn’t get to choose.

It’s hard.

With the exception of my first year of mothering, I’ve shared motherhood with other women. I’ve shared the title mom. I won’t lie, it was really hard at first. I didn’t choose her. I didn’t really know her and I sure as heck didn’t want my baby calling her mom.

Later, when I became mom to someone who had been mothered by many before, I didn’t like that I had to redefine what a mom was (in a healthier way). I didn’t like that someone else had tainted a title that is special to me, is part of the core of who I am.

Here’s the thing. I’m not the best mom in the world. I certainly have things I’m good at, but there are many areas that I’m not good at, don’t know about and just plain aren’t on my radar. I can’t be everything for my children. And I don’t want to be.

Sharing motherhood has been challenging, yet there has been a great beauty in the midst of it. One of my children has two amazing moms who love differently, teach different things and give different experiences. One of my children has called several women mom and each one of us has helped mold her into the young woman she is today. In it all, I’ve learned more about who I am as a woman and mother because of these other women. I’ve learned some good things and some areas of needed improvement. I’ve matured and loved and found grace in places that I didn’t want to see it, experience it or give it.

Sharing motherhood wasn’t what I expected in my life.

Sharing motherhood wasn’t what I asked for in life.

Sharing motherhood has been an unexpected blessing in my life.

Sharing motherhood has taught me about myself and womanhood.

Sharing motherhood has made me a better mom.

Now, it’s hard to imagine motherhood any other way.