On Friday, Racer and I had the opportunity to see the movie War Room. If you haven’t seen it, GO! It was amazing and I’ll admit, I was teary eyed at the end (ahem… and at several other points too). The movie helped spur me to thinking about a lot of things – being intentional in praying for the specific needs of my children (not just a “God keep them safe” kind of thing), being intentional about praying for the Armor of God to be present in my life and the lives of my family members so that we can fight “against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12).
And it got me to thinking about the small things I do in my marriage that have a greater impact on my husband than I realize. You see, with five children, our communication often becomes practical and businesslike. In order for our home to function in a half-way productive manner, we plan budgets, schedule compare, pass along homework notes, talk about discipline, etc. Yes, we are being intentional about a monthly date, but I often put Racer’s daily emotional needs behind the kids.
And I realized that I needed to apologize for that.
And in conversation with him about that, I realized that I needed to apologize for a hurt that I caused several years ago, one that was still heavy in his spirit.
So I did it. I looked in his eyes, apologized and asked for forgiveness.
You see, even though we may think that our spouses know we’re sorry about something, even though we may “know” they forgive us, sometimes, we have to look at each other and say it. We have to be intentional about saying the words that have meaning and can bring healing. And in response, we can’t just nod or hug – we need to say in return “I forgive you.” We may think that our spouse knows we appreciate or value the role they play in our life. We may think our spouse knows that we are thankful for dinner, or taking out the garbage, or watching that guy/girl movie with us, or whatever mundane thing that is a part of doing life together.
Words are important. Words have meaning. Words have power. Sometimes, you need to say them.
What do you need to say to your spouse today?
Rev. Kris Mares 