One of the things that I love about Racer is that he has a heart of giving. And while we often disagree on where/how we should give, the question of whether we should give isn’t even a question. Let me give you an example:
Several years ago, things were really hard for us. In their generosity, some friends had pulled together and sent us 2 – $100 gas gift cards. What a blessing that was for us! We knew it would relieve a bit of a burden as Racer commuted a good distance for work. At that same time, a friend on the other side of the country was also having a very difficult financial time. That’s how we became friends – walking a journey of financial hardship together. At the time my friends were sending help for my family, my long-distance friend was trying to scramble for gas money to see a relative that would soon leave the earth.
When I opened the mail and saw 2 gas cards, my spirit leapt and I knew what I needed to do. So I called Racer, explained the situation with a woman he’d never met and immediately, he said yes.
That is a heart of giving.
Could have we used that gas money? Yep. But I believe that God placed the urge of generosity in the hearts of my friends so that they would bless not just my family, but another family as well. And outside of the joy of how God provided for me, what great joy it brought to have a spouse say, with no hesitation, yes to giving what we could’ve used.
In marriage, there will be a lot of differences between two people. Racer and I are like night and day sometimes. He’s an arrive late guy. I’m on time. He’s spontaneous. I’m a planner. Racer likes race cars. I do not. He doesn’t care about recycling. I’m a tree-hugger wanna-be.
Yet in the differences, there must be some key points of contact, of agreement, of heart connection. There are some things that spouses need to grown in commonality.
For us, it’s a heart of giving. We don’t argue about giving (but trust me, we disagree about plenty of other things). It’s a core component of our marriage and of our family. And when times are hard, when I don’t like how Racer is acting, when I don’t like how I am asking, I go back to the heart of things. I go back to what we have at our core. I go back to our heart of giving. It connects us. It grounds us. It binds us together.
What is at the heart of your marriage?