I always thought I knew what kind of mom I’d be. I was wrong. As usual, I had this image in my head of what motherhood would be like, but it just hasn’t panned out that way. It’s been like a Pinterest fail – a wonderful image and something to strive for, but my execution has been off the mark. I’ve messed up more times than I care to count or remember. I’ve missed out on opportunities to show love and grace. I’ve not been consistent and I’ve lost my way. My motherhood journey has not turned out like the image I had in my head so many years ago.
And that’s ok.
I’m not the perfect Pinterest mom and that’s ok. And you’re ok too. Our fails shape us into who we are. The disappointments in life lead us to a better understanding of grace. Our shared parenting, co-parenting, step-parenting, adoption parenting, attachment parenting, free-range parenting, helicopter parenting selves have somehow grown as mothers, as wives, as friends and as leaders in our community.
Motherhood – no matter what style you practice – changes us. Our children change us. And somehow, our Pinterest fail turns out to be the best memory.
It’s hard work being a mom. It’s never what you expect it to be. Some days, filled with nothing – no plans, no activities, no crafts, no perfectly balanced meals – end up being the best days of just being in a relationship of love. And other days, the days that are perfectly planned for fun, education and optimal memory making – sometimes those days are the ones you want to forget. And in between is a lot of mundane, mess cleaning, chaffering, food procuring, boo boo kissing, book reading, homework wrangling, tv watching, “Lord help me” praying, life giving, loving work. Yes, motherhood is work and anyone that tries to tell you otherwise lies. It’s a calling for sure, but it is work. And it’s work that seems to constantly change as our children get older and as our families change.
For me, motherhood is getting ready to change again. You see, each time our family grows by one, my image of motherhood changes. My execution of motherhood changes. My understanding of what motherhood is changes. I change. And sometime soon, we hope to add another child into our family. It is part of who Racer and I are called to be as parents. We know that this journey will be different from our last Adoption Story. And in some ways, it will turn out to be a Pinterest fail too. The image in our heads of what the journey will be like this time will not be right, yet we’ll know that this journey is unique and has grown us in new ways.
So, I’m not the Pinterest Mom. And you know what? I don’t really want to be either. That image of perfection leaves little room for grace. And I’d rather have grace.