Kris Mares

Just a woman trying to love Jesus and others a little bit more…

Loneliness, Sadness and Joy April 26, 2016

Filed under: Motherhood — Kris @ 12:06 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I was weepy. Have you ever felt that way? Some days, my mood matches the weather, but not that day. That day, my emotions seemed to betray the beauty that was outside of me. That day, I felt sad and alone and wondered if we’d made wrong decisions in our life.

That day, Gorilla and Climber started their sports seasons. As I figured out the logistics of being one person who had two kids playing at two fields far apart, I felt sad. Sad because around me at the fields I saw grandparents and aunts and dads joining in with the soccer moms as cheerleaders for their kids. For us, it’s just us. Racer is off working hard. Blue is now working full-time in the real world. That left me, Professor and Girlie to cheer on the younger boys. And in a need to divide and conquer, I stayed with Climber (the youngest). So Professor was left as the sole cheerleader for his little brother.

And in a sea of people, in a crowd of noise, I felt very alone. As a mom, I wonder if our choices as parents have been what is really best for our children. I wonder if we heard God right in calling us what seems a million miles away from family (really, it’s just a full day of riding in the car). I wonder if we’ve put our own needs and desires above what is right for our children. I wonder if we got it all wrong.

Maybe it’s not a sporting event that makes you wonder. Maybe it’s not a crowd of cheerleaders that makes you feel alone. There are things in life every day that lead people to question their choices, doubt their decisions, feel alone in a word full of 7.125 billion people. If it’s not you, it’s probably the person next to you. If it’s not your family, it’s probably the family sitting next to you on the sidelines. If it’s not your story, it may just be the story of another family in church.

People feel alone in so many ways. And what I feel really sad about is that we don’t have to be. We don’t have to feel like we’re in this journey of life by ourselves. Neighbors, friends, churches… We need to be looking around us for those people who need fellowship, who need cheerleaders, who need relationships with other people.

Later in the day, as I pondered these things, God broke in. I heard the sound of my younger boys laughing and playing together. I thought about Girlie getting to hang out for the day with her friend. I remembered that yes, there are people who love our family, who cheer us on, even if from afar. So although I still felt thesadness, it was mingled with the joy in knowing that our (big) little family has each other and that my kids will know a relationship with each other that other siblings don’t have. Joy breaks in with a reminder that even though our decisions didn’t make sense to others, our obedience made sense to God.

In our obedience to go where God was calling our family, lives the truth of a promise that Christ is with us always. I don’t have to feel alone.

And neither do you. You are not alone. God desires a deep fellowship with you through Jesus Christ and in that relationship, you will not be left alone. You are not abandoned. You are loved.

And if you aren’t the one feeling alone today, look for those who are strangers in your foreign land (meaning, they moved here from somewhere else and don’t have kin around). Do you know how we as the Church, the Body of Christ, are supposed to treat them? Church, we are supposed to welcome them in, celebrate our festivals with them, feed them and treat them like family. So look for the lonely, look for those without cheerleaders, look for those who need a friend and love them. Be in relationship with them. Cheer them on.

Perhaps, just perhaps, we’ll end up experiencing a little bit of the “on earth as it is in heaven” we often pray for.

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