Kris Mares

Just a woman trying to love Jesus and others a little bit more…

Do Family like the Geese May 17, 2016

Filed under: Motherhood — Kris @ 10:31 am
Tags: , , , ,

The last few months, I’ve been really trying to “get my steps in” by walking in a local park several mornings a week. Climber and I drop the older kids off at school and then take a lap at the park. The last two mornings, we’ve seen something really fun!

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Yesterday, we saw just one momma and daddy geese with their 3 babies. Today, we saw three geese families! Momma goose, daddy goose and 1-3 babies in each group. The goslings were various ages; you could tell by their size. Climber even called one a “teenager goose.”

We stood this morning and watched these geese families. As they saw danger approaching (we humans), the mommas and daddies used their necks to urge their kids closer together and away from us. It looked exactly like what I do in crowds with my kids.

And as we stood there and watched these geese families, I learned a great lesson. You see, these geese families were not alone. They were doing the work of raising their goslings together. These 3 geese families were around the same pond, taking the goselings out for a walk and breakfast together, sharing information, helping usher all the goslings together. Sure they were all at different ages, but they were still there together, doing life.

What if we humans did more of that? Too often these days, we keep our families in silos, each doing our own thing, only converging for team events and birthday parties. We struggle with feeling alone in a world full of noise and activity.

It’s not supposed to be that way.

We are designed for community. For relationship. For togetherness.

We need other families to do life with us.

Like the geese, the families don’t all have to be the same. We might have kids of different ages, parents of different ages, different number of kids. Each family would be unique.

That’s the point.

What if we really did life with a few other families, going out and about together, sharing meals together, protecting our kids together, teaching our kids together?

What if we took a risk and shared our real lives with a few other trusted families? What if we truly lived out a community of faith as shown in the early Christianity in the book of Acts. What if older mothers mentored younger mothers? What if older fathers mentored younger fathers? What if teenage kids watched out for younger kids and taught them well?

What if we lived into our baptismal covenant to really love and nurture and pray for those persons in our faith community?

Yep, watching those geese families today convicted me.

I need to do better at doing life with other families. I don’t have to simply feel the loneliness. I can invite people to come along side of us. Instead of expecting people to invite us, I need to do the inviting.

“Hey, we’ve got sporting events this weekend. Wanna come?”

“We’re going for a walk today. Wanna join us?”

“We’re just hanging out at home tonight with pizza and a movie. Wanna come over?”

Who cares if my home is spotless. The kids won’t remember.

Who cares if I’m wearing sweats and a ball cap. It’s not a fashion show.

Who cares if we win or lose. There will be another game.

What they will remember is the community we built around us. The relationships we shared. The laughter and the love.

 

So today… Today I will invite others into our lives. Will you join me? Take a risk. Step outside the loneliness and bring someone in.

Do family like the geese.

P.S. I’ve delayed starting Make Over Your Evenings and will begin this coming Sunday the 21st. Will you join me? (The link is an affiliate link.)

 

Adoption Story… part 6 April 7, 2010

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5

The road to finalizing the adoption was longer than we anticipated.  In all reality, it wasn’t that long.  After Blue had been with us about 3 months it was time to move forward.  From the point that the workers began to move toward adoption (as opposed to just foster care), start to finish was 5 months.  I know, I know, that’s not very long, but in our minds it was taking forever.  We just wanted to be done.

One of the things that held us up was a name.  Blue wanted to totally change her name.  It is incredibly difficult to pick a name for a teenager who has definite opinions on what her name should be!  After a couple of weeks, we finally settled on a name – one that we could all agree on.  Then, it was just waiting on state workers.  Parental rights had been long terminated, so that wasn’t an issue.  Just state workers…

While we waited, we learned a lot, grew a lot and loved a lot.  Parenting/adopting a teenager is hard.  Developmentally, teen  should be breaking away from their parents and gaining independence.  We wanted Blue to connect to our family, bond, stay close.  It’s an interesting line to walk.  We faced some effects from Blue’s past.  We learned what it mean to be mother and daughter (still very much learning).  Racer and I became a better team.  We made mistakes – still do – but grow in faith and love most days.

Finally, it came.  Adoption day came.  We invited the Fosters, our pastor and his wife, and two other friends to be with us that day.  We dressed up.  Girlie was excited to wear a new dress for our “special dress-up day.”  Blue picked out a new, blue, top.  She looked beautiful.  Professor was so excited to leave school early that he was all packed up, cleaned up and ready to go before his class went to lunch.

We went into court, waited through two divorce proceedings (weird juxtaposition huh?) and then it was time.  We didn’t realize that we would be in judge’s chambers, so our friends wouldn’t be able to watch.  It was short, sweet and Blue came out glowing.  It was official.  She was now a permanent part of our family!  We went for ice cream to celebrate.

What was even more special in many ways came in just a few days.  On Easter Sunday, Blue was baptized under her new name.  She cried, A LOT.  I smiled.  Now all of our children had been baptized on an Easter Sunday.  The pastor we love, who will be retiring shortly, got to perform the baptism.  It was a beautiful ending to a journey of faith and love.

Not that our journey is over.  Really, the fun is just beginning.  We now have an entire life to watch how God continues to weave our family – the journey of love and faith and grace and beauty – together.  I look forward to watching Blue grow into a woman of faith who sees God working in her life.  I can’t wait to see what God does next.

 

 
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