I have a confession. I listen to Ted Talk podcasts. There are fascinating stories, interesting tidbits of information and for a preacher, interesting thoughts about public speaking. A couple of months ago, I listed to a Tedx Talk by Mandy Len Catron. She explained how she used 36 questions to fall in love. Sounds odd doesn’t it? Well, I’m already “in love” but I thought it would be fun to go through the questions with Racer one day.
So we did. It actually took, 2 dates. Problem with talking through the 36 questions with someone you’re already married to is that we talked a LOT. We didn’t really reveal any “secrets,” but we did learn a few new things. Some questions we knew the answers about the other already and some were a little surprising.
The best part though? Just being together, not on our phones (well, except to read the list of questions) and having conversation about something other than work and kids. As an old married couple and not new people trying to fall in love, the questions helped us dream again, helped us to remember what attracted us to each other in the first place.
Even though it took us two dates (a brazilian food lunch and a late night dessert date), and even though people looked at us strange as we stared at each other for 4 minutes over dirty dessert plates, going through the 36 Questions was totally worth it for me. Perhaps we didn’t fall in love for the first time, but perhaps we fell in love again.
As old married people we need to do that don’t we? No matter how long a couple has been married, we shouldn’t stop learning how to better love our spouse. We need to keep remembering why we fell in love. Our bodies change, our mental ability changes, our life circumstances change. Love changes. Marriage is about continually learning to love the person you are with. Loving them in the changes, through the changes, because of the changes and despite the changes. Marriage is hard work and perhaps, 36 questions might just help a long-term couple refocus and remember and relove.
So, your #MarriageMonday Challenge: Go on a date and go through the 36 Questions to fall in Love!
Then come back and post what you thought about your time together. I think you’ll be glad you did.
P.S. I’m on Day 2 of my Make Over Your Mornings journey! You can download the study and join me today! (The link is an affiliate link.)
Rev. Kris Mares 