Kris Mares

Just a woman trying to love Jesus and others a little bit more…

Marriage Monday: 36 Questions May 2, 2016

Filed under: Marriage — Kris @ 8:56 am
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I have a confession. I listen to Ted Talk podcasts. There are fascinating stories, interesting tidbits of information and for a preacher, interesting thoughts about public speaking. A couple of months ago, I listed to a Tedx Talk by Mandy Len Catron. She explained how she used 36 questions to fall in love. Sounds odd doesn’t it? Well, I’m already “in love” but I thought it would be fun to go through the questions with Racer one day.

thumbnailSo we did. It actually took, 2 dates. Problem with talking through the 36 questions with someone you’re already married to is that we talked a LOT. We didn’t really reveal any “secrets,” but we did learn a few new things. Some questions we knew the answers about the other already and some were a little surprising.

The best part though? Just being together, not on our phones (well, except to read the list of questions) and having conversation about something other than work and kids. As an old married couple and not new people trying to fall in love, the questions helped us dream again, helped us to remember what attracted us to each other in the first place.

Even though it took us two dates (a brazilian food lunch and a late night dessert date), and even though people looked at us strange as we stared at each other for 4 minutes over dirty dessert plates, going through the 36 Questions was totally worth it for me. Perhaps we didn’t fall in love for the first time, but perhaps we fell in love again.

As old married people we need to do that don’t we? No matter how long a couple has been married, we shouldn’t stop learning how to better love our spouse. We need to keep remembering why we fell in love. Our bodies change, our mental ability changes, our life circumstances change. Love changes. Marriage is about continually learning to love  the person you are with. Loving them in the changes, through the changes, because of the changes and despite the changes. Marriage is hard work and perhaps, 36 questions might just help a long-term couple refocus and remember and relove.

So, your #MarriageMonday Challenge: Go on a date and go through the 36 Questions to fall in Love!

Then come back and post what you thought about your time together. I think you’ll be glad you did.

P.S. I’m on Day 2 of my Make Over Your Mornings journey! You can download the study and join me today! (The link is an affiliate link.)


Date Night with the Professor January 23, 2010

Filed under: Professor — Kris @ 11:07 pm
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Tonight was a Date Night for me.  My date got to choose; we saw the chipmunk movie and went to “The Calcium King” (that’s what Racer and I call it when we want to decide in front of the kids if we want to go there or not).  As you might have guessed, my date was my 8-year-old Professor. 

For Christmas, Racer and I gave our two oldest kids gift certificates for time out with just mom or dad – alone.  Sometimes I think they get jipped when it comes to time with us.  So today, Professor turned his “date night” card into me and we went out.  It was so sweet too.  Of course I paid (after all, he doesn’t have a job as he put it) and he held open the door.  Seriously, my 8-year-old held the door for me.  We got popcorn, drinks and candy.  I chuckled; he laughed.  We shared.  He was so tired, but didn’t really want to fall asleep in the car.  We went for ice cream because that was the plan and I don’t think Professor wanted to alter his plan or miss out on the ice cream.  He looked at me with sleepy, tummy filled, loving eyes and said…

I like you.

I loved hearing him say that.  I think love is just assumed between a parent and child.  Love is something that is just there – a given that will never change.  We just know that we love each other – almost like just knowing that there will be hot lunch available at school.  Parent/child love just is…

But liking the other is another matter all together.  We may know that hot lunch will be at school, but whether we like what is served is another matter all together.  I like that my kid likes me.  I like to hear my Professor say “I like you Mommy” with all the love that is in  his heart.  I will treasure those words.

I like you, my Absent-minded Professor.  You are my favorite Professor in the whole wide world.


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