I have the itch to write again. Lot’s to share. Sure I write a sermon every week (oh, yeah, didn’t you know? I’m a rural church pastor now), and I may share the good ones here from time to time. But this itch is different than sermon writing. It’s an itch that I think is preparing me for the next step. We’ll see won’t we?
So, until that next step comes, I’ll scratch the itch. I’ll write here again and you all can journey with me.
Lately I’ve not been blogging.
Lately, I’ve been busy.
Lately, I’ve been trying to enjoy a summer that has slipped away all too fast.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about emergency preparedness – do you have a plan?
Lately, I haven’t been eating like I should.
Lately, I’ve started to actually enjoy going to the gym and exercising.
Lately, I’ve figured out that I might actually miss Racer when he’s at the track.
Lately, I’ve been anxious about starting seminary.
Lately, I’ve been trying to raise money for books.
Lately, I’ve spent too much time on the computer and not enough time reading books.
Lately, I’ve been teaching Gorilla how to pee in the potty.
Lately, I’ve realized that I’ve actually started to put roots down in my new community.
Lately, I’ve been taking on leadership roles.
Lately, I’ve been thinking more and more about writing a book.
Lately, I’ve felt like writing again.
Lately, I’ve been tired, but filled.
Lately, I’ve been sensing God and His presence through the Holy Spirit.
Lately, I’ve realized that the dents in my fender and the rips in my jeans are simply talking points in my journey of faith.
Lately, I’ve tried to figure out how to make it all work and realized that I can’t, but God can.
Lately, I’ve cut myself some slack.
Lately, I’ve tried to be a better mom, but failed and then tried again and then failed and then realized that I’ll never stop trying.
Lately, the word family is morphing again and taking on new meanings.
Lately, I’ve had to let go and pray.
What have you been doing lately?
In case you hadn’t noticed, I haven’t really been blogging lately. I don’t have writers block. I actually have a lot to say. There has been sooooooooo much going on in our lives lately. Some good, some not so good and some is still to be determined. I’ve had some great mommy moments and some that I’m not very proud of. I’ve had some totally great conversations, yet felt like I missed the moment on others. And through it all, God has been working in ways that I don’t yet understand.
The other blogging issue I struggle with is how much to share. If you know me, you know the real names of my kids. If you are a random stranger, you’ll see that the only “real” name here is mine. I don’t suppose you would have to be a rocket scientist to figure out other names, but this is the internet, this is public and I try to maintain a sense of privacy and protection for my family. I try very hard NOT to say anything terribly negative or embarrassing about my spouse or children. So some of our struggles will be veiled for their privacy and my desire to build them up publically.
Last, I’ve got a little bit of age-defined ADD at the moment I think!
I don’t have a lack of ideas swirling in my head – I have too many! I have some great blogging ideas and just can’t seem to get any of them nailed down and “on paper.” I vacillate between domestic goddess, aspiring writer, lazy oaf, tired momma and a whole slew of things in between. I try to be productive in my day, but I know I spend waaayyy too much time doing stuff that just wastes time. While I accomplish a lot on the vast majority of days (3 meals for 6-7 people, everyone dressed and relatively healthy is big in my opinion), I know that I still waste a lot of time. And when I do that, I just get in a funk of wasting time.
So, I guess I need a little help in this blogging thing. I often wonder what people even like reading about. Do you like the cooking adventures? (I’ve had a LOT of them lately.) Do you like the family stories? Do you like the faith stuff? Do you like the randomness here and there? What do you like to read about?
I’m totally excited! I got a guest spot on The Mommies Network again! I promise, I won’t make a big deal EVERY time, but I may mention it at the end of a post. I guess I just get excited to think that someone else might like what I wrote/thought/had to say.
Take a look! My Girlie blog post made it as a “guest blogger” on a national mommy blog! I’m so excited!
Check out The Mommies Network here.
I was talking with someone a few weeks ago about this blog. At one point in the conversation he asked me “Why do you write the blog?” It’s a good question and one I haven’t really put much thought into. I suppose before I started this endeavor, I should’ve put more thought into it. It’s been a year now that I’ve written – or not as was the case over the summer. So I wonder, why do I write this blog?
There is something, for me at least, about putting my thoughts, struggles and successes on “paper.” I am admittedly a word nerd and when I see something in print, it becomes somehow more solid, more real. Somehow the words on the page make more sense than the sounds in the air. So when I write, I feel like I make more sense and that my struggles and joys are no longer prisoners in my heart. They have been released to receive healing and give glory to God.
I’m also learning that I have to be more open and authentic about my heart. I am an opinionated, sometimes bossy woman. As I told some friends Monday, if you hear me get on my many soap boxes, sometimes I just sound like a dog barking. What most people don’t see is the heart that is breaking behind the barking. If I allow people to get to know my heart, they then begin to understand the reasons behind the words. I never, NEVER want people to think that I am somehow above them or better than them. I realize, however, that when I don’t allow my heart to be known, that I can be perceived as those things that I don’t want to be seen as. I suppose this blog is one way I am allowing people to get to know my heart.
This blog is also a way for me to tell my stories to those who care to hear them. There is an old hymn, “Tell me the Stories of Jesus.” Jesus is working so beautifully in my life and I want to tell those stories. It may not always seem that there is a direct link to God’s Grace, but for me, these posts work together like disjointed chapters in a book. Chapters that don’t always seem to make sense on their own, but when looked at as a whole, there is a beautiful story of God’s mercy, grace, provision and love.
Finally, I belive that one of the talents that God has given me is writing. You may disagree, but too many others have affirmed me for me to ignore this talent. Deep down, I’ve always felt like I was supposed to write something someday that others would read. I don’t know what that will be, when it will be, or how it will happen. I just know that it will. I suppose this blog is practice. We are supposed to use our gifts for the glory of God and that is what I’m trying to do here.
So, that’s why I blog I guess. I don’t know where this will go, who really reads it, nor where it will take me. I read other “famous bloggers” who just happened upon blogging and God used it and has given them an incredible platform to share their faith and provide for their family. Only God knows what He has in store for “Call me Kris…” Please help me pray that I always hear His direction for this site and my life.
Kris Mares 
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